Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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