If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
