sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I need moral support for this bender
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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