One girl and one boy is just not enough.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
