Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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