if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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