Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
