How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I have post one night stand depression
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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