Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Pants are for mortals
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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