Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
