I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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