Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
