you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
