Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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