I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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