I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
