I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
honey bunches of taint.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
