:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
