Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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