If i come over, it means nothing
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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