I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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