i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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