so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
