my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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