When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
