i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize