I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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