I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
