i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
