i think my tv is drunk
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
