like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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