i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
