i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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