No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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