i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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