Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
what day is it and did you see me today?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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