Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
