So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
