Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
