Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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