it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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