She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
