Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
