i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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