yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
