Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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