ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
