Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
