Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
