He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I had to cum in my sink.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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