She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
