At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
