so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
