Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
