Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
