i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
