dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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