Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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