two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
