I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
We smell like vodka and hangover
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