I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
