its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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