So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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