I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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