If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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