We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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