Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
