Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
