we're making bets on your personal life
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize