dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
