so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
