yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
